At my last estimation, I was about 157lbs (including all that birthday cake and nonsense).

This is my record. We'll see what I weigh at the end of the summer. It's not my goal weight of 145lbs that I wanted, but you know what? I gave it a hell of a run from 185.

I realized something today.

I might have a small(er) waist, but I will always be "thick." Not sure if that makes sense to anyone else...

Extreme example, I won't ever take tiny pictures like this:

Do I want to be THIS skinny? No, not really. Especially not when I more so want to look like this:

But...it's still an odd concept to know that you can lose #$%^&*( amount of weight, but still be thick. Maybe I'm just thinking about it wrong.

I think a summer without my scale will do me some good.

Gained some weight since I've been home.

Training for camp starts on Friday.

Back to the diet then, I guess. For breakfast I'm going to start having an apple and almonds.

Mom told me that I should really put my nose to the grindstone this week, because since I went from being "so active at school" and what I do now at home in these two weeks I've been off, "camp activity level is gonna kill you."

...excuse me?

I've lost somewhere between 30-40 pounds. I've run/swam/walked/ellipticalled/biked countless miles and lifted who knows how many weights. I've gotten my life on a good track to turn it into a healthy lifestyle...and that's what you tell me when I get home?

Horse shit.

//sigh//

I don't ever think I'll go back to what I was cuz I'm too afraid of being fat. Again. Even now I still can't see myself as "skinny". Sad, isn't it?