So I haven't updated in almost a month and I'm really surprised that no one has called me on it, especially since I deleted my other "wellness diet" blog.
My weight is back up in the very high 150s, and because of that, I'm upset. Surprise! I realize that most of this is due to my spring break splurge. And when I say I was a piggy, I mean I was a piggy. It's so much easier for me to eat healthy at school than it is at home and around friends I haven't seen. When I was home for a week I ate:
- Wings
- Ice cream
- Brownies
- Alcohol
- Reeses
- Jellybeans
- Guiness and Beef stew from Ri Ra Uptown
- Bread pudding
- Hamburgers
- Salmon
- Chocolate cake
- Quesadillas
- Perogies
- Fried pickles
And I know that's not all, just what i remember off the top of my head. So I guess I can't blame myself for going from 155 to 160ish in a week. I feel like a sham -- I preach healthy eating, obsess over calories, but this week it was literally like I could not get enough calories in my body. And they were never the good kind. Also, the most exercise I got was playing frisbee and walking the dog.
So now I have a lot to make up for. I'm trying to be better about what I eat, but also be more intuitive. I want to be so skinny I could spit, and honestly, right now I'm so disgusted with myself eating wise, look wise and scale wise that all I can think about is "stop eating all together until you hit a "comfort" number on the scale." This isn't healthy either.
I went to a spinning class yesterday and that was fun. Nearly killed myself. The day before I did a Jillian Michaels 30 day shred workout. Today I'm debating another spinning class, but I've already done the Ab Ripper X workout from p90x. Food has consisted of an apple and a banana.
I keep saying I'm tired of being fat, but really I only have myself to blame. And I'm so ashamed of that.
