This number might not mean a lot to you, but to me, it means leagues.

True LIfe: Stress Diet

I've lost 8lbs since Monday. It is currently Thursday night. I HAVE eaten out, and it's not like I'm skipping meals excessively or anything (I mean, no more than usual with my schedule). I'm just so stressed I can't eat a lot when I do eat.

Today was especially bad because I'm really upset about some personal stuff from back home, so I KNOW I haven't been eating enough. ...I currently have green beans cooking on the stove though.

I also know my body will work itself out from this. I'm not working out like I should so I'm not burning fat -- the weight's going down just because my stomach is empty. I'll fluctuate after the stress passes in the next week or two, but i really hope I can get this straightened out prior to moving back home.

I'm gaining weight again. And no, it's not "muscle."

I've been trying to stop weighing and stop counting calories...instead I've just been trying to find a place where I'm comfortable with my body and I'm being more conscious of what I eat.

Well, apparently that doesn't work out so well. I was down to 155. Today? Almost 163.

This is not acceptable for me. It's upsetting. I realize it's only about 7-8lbs, but that's SEVEN OR EIGHT POUNDS. I can feel it. my waist is pudgier, I don't feel tight or tone. I just...un-like.

So I suppose I'm going to have to go back to counting calories. And doing two a days, if I can manage them. I'm sure the stress of the end of the school year isn't helping, but really? There's ONE MONTH before camp starts. ONE MONTH before I start my summer in a bathing suit. I've worked so hard for this...I can't blow it now. This month will be rough, but I'm sure I can do it. Please support me guys. This last month is critical and and I really feel like I'm slipping into bad habits again...

I really think i want to buy myself a "real" bikini this year. Not just a wal-mart/target suit (though I guess I wouldn't be opposed). I'm starting to finally have "confidence" and I feel like I earned it. Anyone have suggestions on places to look that won't break the bank?