Went in for measurements again today. It's been 1 month and I'm down 1.5" in my arms/thighs/calves and a little over 3" in my waist. I guess I'll take that. According to the scale at the gym I'm still 177, though that's weighing with shoes, shorts, shirt, etc. At home I'm now 173.2. Not really a significant drop so I'm not going to put it up in milestones. I will update that on the first, though. So look out!

My goal is to be at 170 or less by Thanksgiving week.

It's official. 174.6! :D

I did not go to the gym today because I decided I needed sleep after this week.

I feel like poo because I haven't gotten my cardio. I wouldn't say I feel like a failure, but damn I do feel guilty. To an extent, I guess this is a good thing.

Luckily my mom still has her YMCA membership -- which means I'll be cardio-ing it up even when I'm home this weekend. :D

...except sunday. I'll be in the car aaaaaall day Sunday. That's what I get from going Charlotte --> Newberry --> Auburn.

So I'm not going to put this in the milestones yet because I don't post it until the number shows up consistently, but this morning was 174.6. Number keeps dropping and I keep getting happier.

Next week when I get back from home I'm gonna start two-a-days. Cardio in the morning, cardio + circuit training/abs in the evening.

My knees hurt SO badly. Can I please just go to the doctor tonight? November 22nd seems so far away for an MRI...

On the bright ("bright") side, Evan had me do 100 sit ups. In a row. Buh... this was the "warm-down."

So the main trainer at the gym, Kevin? Just found out his real name is Paul.

I also forgot to update: 176.4lb.

Not much, but still going down. Friday I was 181.6ish...

Back to the gym again today! Tired as all get out. I want carbs...I actually had a dream about eating a pulled pork sandwich last night. But yesterday I was good and had oatmeal for breakfast, peanuts, a fruit and nut granola bar and a huge breast of chicken that I pan seared in light olive oil (with a bit of salt, pepper and italian seasoning on top so it wasn't dry). Skim milk, two small glasses of apple cider (there was a breakfast thing for our practicum and it was the best thing to have and still be social/not rude) and a lot of water.

I know milk wasn't really in the "plan" and neither was the juice...I'm supposed to be doing just water, but I still think I'm doing pretty well. Considering I tried to start on Saturday...and then blew it Saturday and then on Sunday when I had the hangover from hell (three slices of bread, a bowl of oatmeal and 1/2 a pot of mac and cheese). Yikes.

Today is weight training + cardio, which means I can eat fruit. Tomorrow is cardio, thursday is cardio, friday is cardio and weights, saturday is cardio....

As you can see a lot of cardio is in my future.

...in other news, I have an MRI scheduled for the week of Thanksgiving. Well, tentatively planned. Dad's calling today and he's got that whole, doctor-to-doctor connection. :)

I had the "I'm discouraged, I don't want to pay for this anymore" conversation with Evan today. And he also pulled in big man Kevin.

I won't say that they talked me out of it, but they did convince me to stick with it for at least another month. This week to jumpstart and "show me results" I'm more or less on the atkins -- at least in the sense that there's no carbs like pasta, white rice BREAD. Lots of veggies, oatmeal, fruit in the morning and chicken, lean turkey and fish.

Looks like I'm going back to the store for more protein-ish things likes almonds.

Also, Kevin gave me a nickname since I've been comin' long enough. Since I went to clemson, he's gonna call me "Baby Cat"

The scale is going up. Why is the scale going up? I'm living on rice cakes and prunes. Okay, not really...but I am eating prunes and not eating "fatty" foods like cheese, chips, cookies, chocolate. This girl in class keeps bringing in chocolate meringue...and I haven't had any. I haven't had cookies or halloween candy or brownies that people bring into class. I make chicken with salsa instead of bacon or cheese. I go for italian dressing instead of ranch.

Why is the scale going up? I feel fatter than ever. I've upped my cardio, I've been doing my weight training. I spend more time moving than sedentary...NOTHING is changing.

I really did just have a huge cry fit. 75% of the clothes in my closet don't fit anymore in the BAD way. I'm frustrated and dishing out a lot of money to get help with this and I'm so tired of it. I'm tired of being fat.

I just want to look like I've made some progress next time I see people from home. I've been here since August 10th and I'm only fatter than I was.

dear stairmaster

I hate you

Love Amy

Evan had me more or less pushing a tire yesterday. My back is sore a all get out, but I like it.

Threw out 90% of my junk food in the apartment -- cheese, 1/2 opened chip bags, candy, etc...as much as I say "oh, I just won't eat it," we all know we cheat.

Still no change in weight or size. I'm starting to get majorly frustrated, even though I've been reading up online, reading the stuff people send me, going to be earlier, eating better.

Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn.

I saw a 7 on the scale today...and it was not preceded by an 8. :) And the reason I'm happy about this, even though it was 179 was because it was after eating and working out.

Evan says he sees toning. Our goal to see marked improvement is October 20th.