I'm scared to get on the scale after thanksgiving. :(

So, I'm putting myself on a strict diet. Like, whoa. I'm also stepping up the gym.

I feel like Regina from Mean Girls. "I wanna lose three pounds."

Now Jennifer's coming back to camp.

Which means I'm not longer going to be the skinny, pretty one, no matter how hard I try. I'm just not built to be.

I got stressed about this situation and went running. Had a meeting with Barron and Homesley Orthopedic Specialists today. Apparently I have Patella Femoral Syndrome, or Chondromalacia (also known as runner's knee). Long story short, there's a mis-alignment in the groove of my knee which is causing the pain. They want me to go to PT for it, but in looking things up online, the more I strengthen the muscles around my knee, it should help counteract the pain and strengthen the whole joint.

One exercise that should help a lot is swimming, so I'm going to try to start that up again. Also just general leg hamstring/quad exercises.

Good news is, they don't recommend surgery for this deal. Woo.

Broke down today and got me some corn nuggets. Almost got a burger, but made myself feel less guilty by getting a turkey burger instead. Ate most of the corn nuggets, but half of the burger. Not TOO bad. Not awesome, but not too bad.

I have this growing obsession with eating chicken. I think it's because it's easy to cook, can be cooked in 50 bajillion different ways and it's relatively inexpensive. :)

I won't lie though, I'm CRAVIN' me some burgers. Like, ohmygaga.

My scale this morning is trying to tell me I ate over 3 pounds of food yesterday.

I disagree. I mean, I know I had some goodies like pumpkin roll and pumpkin pie, but not 3 pounds. That plus shark week I think is throwing me off. I'll measure again on Monday.

Today (well, I guess yesterday at this point) I did 45 minutes on a steep incline and then 10 more minutes on the elliptical while waiting for Evan. Then I did a craaaaap ton of leg stuff. After the last machine, I couldn't walk straight. We'll see how I feel tomorrow.

While at the beginning of the day I was feeling good about my workout, tonight I went to a pot luck thanksgiving dinner. Everything was AMAZING and tasty, but I feel like I negated whatever working out I did. Oh well.

Also, I've got two weeks of tanning, so I'm doing that. I don't know why, but being, well, NOT translucent and pale always makes me feel better about myself. Like I'm not as pale, so I'm not as sickly. I look healthy, so I feel healthy? Not sure. Either way, it's only for two weeks as a push through Thanksgiving so I don't lose that motivation.

172.6

That is all. Well, that is all, aside from the gym at noon. Bring. It. On.

I'm so close to the 160s I can taste it.

To quote a good friend "It's Shark Week."

This is gonna throw my whole everything outta whack.

Also, also...

I know I say I hate running (which is true) but tonight I made that treadmill my bitch. I ran 1.25 miles straight. And in less than 15 minutes. I haven't done that since I don't know when. Not necessarily the time, but normally I can't run HALF a mile without getting winded.

TAKE THAT, KNEES!

I had grilled chicken for dinner.

That wouldn't have been so bad if I'd been able to say "no" to the Texas Toast. //sigh// It wasn't even worth it. I just ate it because it was THERE, not because it was really worth eating.

Anyway, I've been taking these Glucosamine Chondroitin Complex and it's REALLY helping out my knees. I've had a bit of soreness, but no shooting pains. I'm excited. It means that Evan and I are gonna start workin' on more legs and whatnot. Which in turn, means I can hopefully get rid of these thunder thighs.

Also, I've got this new motivation. Ryan dropped some knowledge that he's doing the intensity work outs (maybe it's insanity? I don't know...but it's that apparently P90x on steroids junk). This is unacceptable! Okay, I mean, he can totally do whatever he wants. But apparently his little brother in Theta Chi dropped like, 30 lbs in 60 days and I'm lookin' at 10 ish in almost 3 months. WHAT THE MESS!

I wanted to be the one that returned to camp and everyone went "omg you look great!" RYAN WILL NOT TAKE THIS MOMENT FROM ME! Rawr.

I'm starting to actually run. Like, legit, get on the treadmill and start bookin' it. It's tough. I don't run. At all. Ever. I can power walk like a beast, but I don't have stamina. But lately I've had energy, so I'm trying to channel that constructively. Right now I'm breaking it down. "Today I'll run a full .4 miles. Tomorrow I'll run a full .5 miles. Two days from now I'll run a full .6miles." I know that might seem silly to some, since running comes naturally to a lot of people, but I'm not kidding when I say I can't do it. It hurts my chest, my knees. I just ache and it's not enjoyable at all. BUT, no pain no gain and even when I just ran a straight .3miles the amount of calories I burned was significantly higher then when I do the stairmaster (DEVIL) or the bike.

So here it goes, double time. Any support, as always, accepted and appreciated. :)

Shit just got serious.

I was offered (and I accepted, I'm no idiot) the WaterFront Director position for camp this upcoming summer. That means staff week + seven weeks of working in a bathing suit around 11-17 year old boys. The thing with 11-17 year old boys...they will tell it how it is. If they think you're fat, you will know.

And while I still plan on wearing athletic shorts over my suit every day, I don't think that will be enough to cover my shame if I'm called fat by children for almost two months. Just sayin.

Also, I'm poor now. Like, legit poor. Which is why I'm now on the "I can't buy food" diet. I had pork and beans for dinner. //sigh//

Oh well. Mom won't let me give up my gym membership though. We actually fought about that.

Nothing makes me feel fatter than when I try to buy new clothes.

I've started two-a-days. And I saw 173 on the scale today. Not sure if that's for real of if it'll go back up to the 175ish range I've been seeing.

But yesterday I went and did cardio for almost an hour. Biked 11+ miles and near 400 calories. Then some weights and squats.

Today was just triceps and quads with Evan, then a little bit of abs. I'm gonna go back later for cardio today. Well, that's the plan anyway. :) Not sure why, but I've been in a FANTASTIC mood lately. :D

Also -- I can already tell my arms are gonna hurt tomorrow.

Yea, I know I haven't posted in awhile. My weight is going up, so nothing on the milestones front. I'm hoping it's because I'm nearing that time of the month and retaining water. But I did go to the gym twice today and got in at least an hour and a half of cardio plus weights in total.

Keep trying. Keep going. I've started working in some carbs because I've been so tired. But if my weight keeps going up, I might cut them out again. We'll have to see.