Y'all.

I don't think I can explain how upset I am with my weight lately. I know i haven't been eating THE BEST but I haven't exactly been eating badly either. Maybe I'm expecting too much too quickly, but I think this is a situation that's been coming since I got back at Auburn.

Had a talk with Evan today -- not about a "why am I not changing/you're not working with me hard enough" talk but what do I need to change. Ironically, he said I might be doing TOO MUCH cardio. He said try to back down the time from 1:15 to maybe 45 and instead do more intensive cardio (sprints, runs, upping the level on the stair master). Change my cardio so I'm gasping for breath at the end of my workout.

That and we reevaluated my diet. While I'm eating the right amount of calories, I'm going to shift when I eat the majority of my foods. I've been factoring out meat more than I possibly should, focusing instead of adding clean veggies and fruits.

I'm going to try for the next two weeks to have fiber and fruits in the morning, a blend in the afternoon and protein and veggies at night. I'm still eating too many grams of sugar a day, even if they're "good" sugars found in fruits and whatnot. Example, this morning with my raisin bran muffin there were only 190 calories, but 18 grams of sugar. Womp womp -- raisins.

So I'm going to buy a lot of chicken cutlets, chicken tenderloins, salmon filets and lean (as I can get them) steaks to start cooking on the george forman. I'm gonna cook for a few days out so that when I come back from classes and whatnot and doing feel like pulling out the grill or cleaning the grill afterwards all I have to do is reheat the chicken. Veggies will be asparagus, cucumbers, spinach and green beans mostly -- because those are my favorites (if anyone has other good suggestions please share!) I like carrots, but really only in the raw with ranch...and ranch is something I'm trying to do without.

Anyway, so I'm really trying to change my body. Yes, I would like to see the number on the scale go down, but more than that I'd like to see the toning. I really want the INCHES and % fat in my body to decrease, not so much the "weight" if that makes sense. I feel like this is a healthier mindset than what I've been in -- because it focuses on changing my body rather than changing my weight into a "skinny" mindset.

I'm not giving up food, just giving up eating out -- even if it is a veggie delight flatbread at Subway. My waist (and wallet) can't handle it much anymore.

I'm trying to eat after my workout too, when I'll burn the calories, but honestly it's like force-feeding myself after a workout cuz I'm just not hungry... If anyone out there know of low sugar, high protein meals or foods I can start to incorporate I'd be appreciative. :)

Here goes everything. Because let's be honest....I REALLY wanna use my VS gift card! :D